Fucking is not a numbers game

The other day I was talking about sex and relationships with my sister.   She's not aware of my BDSM interests or lifestyle.  It was just a generic conversation.  Her and her husband have nine kids, yes you read that right.   She was saying that there are times she'll just tell her husband it's 'now or never' and they'll spend 15 minutes having sex that she might or might not enjoy.

I thought that was so depressing.   It made me think about other couples and I was wondering if that's what it was like for most people.  That's not what it's like for me.

I'd like to say that Sir and I have crazy monkey sex every night of the week but we don't.  We're real people with real jobs and real responsibilities.   I'm up early and am fairly wiped out by 9pm.  Sir is still in bed when I leave for work and a night owl. We have to just make it work.  

Lately we spend our weekends trying to have all the sex and play we didn't get during the week.   I'm not a big fan of this routine.  I'm fairly sure that Sir isn't too thrilled with it either.  

I am sure that many people would say that scheduling sex and play isn't "romantic."   But then I've never considered myself to be a romantic type of person.  I think that being practical has it's place in this area of relationships.  I suppose that it has it's place in all area of relationships.  This is something that Sir and I have previously negotiated.   During the week if we want to engage in play we plan to go to bed early.

I'm not saying there's no room for spontaneity.   But Sir respects the fact that I'm up at the butt crack of dawn and when I don't get enough rest it impacts my ability to do my job, take care of myself, and take care of him.

I love being awakened in the middle of the night by Sir so that he can take what he wants.  And there are many nights when I'm eager to start something that I know won't be finished before midnight.  I'm thankful that Sir is often ruled by his practical mind and he's quick to tell me it's time to sleep.  

The reality is that neither one of us has the quantity of sex we would both prefer.  The quality however is quite spectacular.   We have our off moments as most couples do, but it's rare.   Maybe I'm just getting older (and wiser) but I'll take quality over quantity any day

Tie on on.

As part of my contract with Sir I am supposed to blog once a week. Lately between the holidays and travel it's been difficult to do so and I've had a touch of the writer's block. When I mentioned that to Sir he was  "kind enough"  to offer topics for me. Such a giver. :)

He suggested that I write about how it feels, or how I feel when I am a restrained. At first I wasn't sure what to say and then I had an epiphany of sorts.

I think one word best describes how I feel when I am restrained. And that word is free.   

Free to not worry about if my thighs are too thick or my belly too flabby.  

Free to completely surrender and turn off all of the voices in my head reminding me of the items on my to do list, or the laundry that isn't done, or the meals that need to be cooked, etc, etc.   

Free to give in to all of the different sensations.   Free to let the pain wash over me like waves of warm water.   Free to float into subspace because I trust SIr and I know I'm safe in his hands.

But the most important....

Free to be used.   I LOVE feeling used by Sir.  I love knowing that I am his and that my body belongs to him and that it is his for whatever he wishes to do with it.   I love knowing that my orgasms are a gift of his and not given without permission and I equally love when he denies me permission to come because that just further cements my role in serving him.

Sir and I haven't used rope yet.  I know that's something he's considering and I am looking forward to it.  I've had some experience with rope in the past and I like the way it feels.   The restraints we use now are ones that he's devised.  He's very creative like that.   

Sir has restrained me in all different kinds of ways.  Spread eagled on the bed is the most common form of restrain that he uses.  However lately he's added a spreader bar to the mix and that definitely turns up the fun a bit :).   It's hard for me when he uses the spreader bar with my legs in the air and my arms cuffed to my ankles. Sir can fuck for a seriously long time but my poor legs can only stay up for a short period of time.   

Sir has also used the spreader bar while I'm restrained on all fours.  I do love this although my breasts get a little jealous of all the attention my ass is getting.    :)

And then there's the simple restraint - handcuffs.   This is probably one of my most favorites.   Handcuffs are metal, hard, and unyielding.   There's something about being handcuffed that makes me feel very objectified and I love it.   Handcuffs are versatile and can be used from room to room.  I can walk with them on, I can crawl, I can be bent over the bed....the options are endless.   

But my most favorite part of being restrained is knowing that I'm in for a play session.  It makes for a very happy and used submissive. :)