Ordinarily I wouldn't let this bother me.......(see what I did there)

The other day I saw something in my twitter feed that caused me to pause....

Actually I see a lot of things in my twitter feed that makes me pause but in this case it was a negative thing.   It was a tweet that contained these words "I'm not an ordinary submissive....."   and then it went on to describe why this individual believed she wasn't "ordinary."

I started wondering - What exactly is an "ordinary" submissive?   Are her needs or standards greater than mine or other submissives I know?  

Maybe she's just trying to be different.   But doesn't our personalities and who we are as individuals set us apart from others?   Isn't it enough to be true to ourselves?   Do we have to announce that we are not ordinary?

I think the reason why this really stood out for me is because I'm constantly seeing other women on social media make announcements about how they're different than the stereotype.   And I'm just so completely tired of this constant need to label ourselves and others.

I often see the statement  "I'm not a girly girl."   What is a girly girl anyway?  And why is it bad?   I enjoy manicures and massages and right now I'm sporting pink nail polish.  I also rock cowboy boots and jeans and drive a big ass truck.   Am I a girly girl?   Or am I a tomboy?   Why do I have to be either one of those?  Why can't I just be....and this is where it gets crazy.....ME.

Are we intent on making these announcements because we don't want to be stereotyped?   And if so, why do we care?   If someone is set on stereotyping me then obviously they're not interested in knowing who I am as an individual and consequently I'm not interested in having them in my life.

I'm not saying that there is something wrong with wanting to stand out of the crowd.   I'm just worried about doing it in a way that, whether intentional or not, disparages others.   I believe it feeds a need to compete against each other.   And this need is what holds women back.   It represents a definite lack of respect for each other.   So while we yell loudly about how women aren't respected in everyday life, how can we expect this to change when we can't even give each other that same respect?

It very well could be that this tweet was just a random thought.   I'm not finding fault with the author or making an assumption that she is part of the problem.   It was just a few words that caught my eye and fueled a fire that's been burning away in my brain for some time now.

I feel much better now that I've gotten this out of my head.  Although I still have no idea what an "ordinary' submissive is.

Five Years and counting

Five years ago today I met Sir.  He wasn't my Sir then.  That part of our relationship didn't start until a few years later.  Anyway..back to five years ago.  I had no idea that meeting him would change my life so much.  I certainly had no idea that we would end up together.   It was suppose to be just something fun on the side.

It's not an anniversary we can celebrate publicly.   I was married when I met Sir and the rest of the world doesn't need to know about when my marriage became open and what that was like.  And since my ex and I are friends I'm fairly sure he doesn't want the rest of the world knowing it either.  

In five years I've never once wanted to be unfaithful.   For most people that might not seem like a big deal.  For me it is.  In fact the last time I experienced that was when I was married to my first husband and I was 26, married five years with one child and another one on the way in another year. And while I'm still not sold on the idea of monogamy I certainly couldn't fathom stepping out behind Sir's back.

We've had a rough week, Sir and me.  Sometimes this D/s shit is hard.  And when there are issues with the D/s and in other aspects of your relationship it's just a recipe for disaster.  It's been unpleasant since Friday but I think as of today we are feeling a bit more optimistic about things.  And we were able to have a respectful and honest conversation about it.

I don't know what the next five years is going to bring. We're moving out of state in a few months. It's exciting and a little scary.  He won't be living in my house.  I won't be living in his house.  Instead we'll be making a life together. There are times when I think about it that I almost could see me married again.  But I quickly talk myself out of that :)

What I do know is that five years from now we'll still be together.  I've never questioned that we're in this for the long haul. It's just how it is.  And it feels different, but in a good way. When I was married I would say "I'm never getting a divorce."  But I'd say that because it was my second marriage and OMG I couldn't imagine going through another divorce.  It wasn't because I believed we'd be together forever.   And, well, you can see how that ended.  

Hopefully next year at this time we'll be in our new home on at least five acres and I'll have started purchasing a pig or two.   And maybe a cow.  And a horse.  You get the idea.

I just want to know....when do I get my anniversary beating :)